44: 2021, a shared retrospective
These are a few of our favorite things...
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When we saw this sign while walking to dinner the other night, we knew we had to include it in this special edition of the newsletter. While we wish we could say 2021 was the sunny antithesis to gloomy 2020, it has in some ways been even more challenging. The novel dichotomy of fear and hope from the beginning of the pandemic has faded, and what we are left with is a defeated, tired acceptance of our new reality. More people died of COVID this year than last, climate change is rearing its ugly head more than ever, and the bigotry many tried to confront last year still feels just as insidious and overwhelming, yet we have to carry on despite this all.
We clearly are not interested in sugarcoating these truths — it would be ignorant to not acknowledge them. This year, finding real joy, real moments of pleasure, has been a difficult task in the best of times, but maybe it’s the struggle to have these things that makes them that much sweeter and more meaningful. We don’t mean to glamorize hardship; we just want to acknowledge, even celebrate the times we have had to fight — the world, systems, ourselves — to know and embrace happiness. We hope you had many bright spots in your year and that they came easily, and if they didn’t, that your brave excavation made them even more worth it.
Thank you all for sticking with us, week by week, as we wrote our way out of (or through) dark times. It is much easier to grasp at the good with the help and support of people we love. Whether you just subscribed, have been here since the beginning, read once in a blue moon, are a TWHI loyalist, wordlessly support, or send us lovely messages (they make our week!!!), thanks for being here. We are taking a little holiday break to spend time with our families and loved ones but we’ll be back in your inboxes in early January. Without further ado, here is a look back at our years and the things that colored our 2021.
Anna’s List
After the social isolation of last year, 2021 has felt like the year of reunions. In January, I saw my family for the first time in over a year and FINALLY got to meet my sweet puppy, Gigi. I reunited with more extended family throughout the year. I also got to visit Haley on her birthday, our first meeting since right before the pandemic struck. My friend Nicole surprised (and scared the shit out of) me in May with a lovely night of hanging out and talking in Haley’s apartment. In the summer, my best pals and I all traveled to Austin — some of them I hadn’t seen in almost two years. We also reconvened in Madison just a few weeks ago. I was so happy to catch up with some high school friends, especially Hana, who I got to adventure around London with as she did her law school semester over there. And of course, I had a couple reunions with Ben and my lovely friends in London, though we thankfully didn’t have to stay apart for as long. While 2021 has certainly not been without its challenges, being in the presence of loved ones – hugging, holding, dancing, laughing, sharing bites – has meant the entire world to me. There are still so many people I am missing and have not seen in far too long, but I am hopeful that despite the pandemic raging on, we’ll be able to finally hold each other close again soon.
If it was the year of reunions, it was also the year dining out and finally being able to break bread with one another. Some of the best bites included a vegan reuben sandwich, a veggie burger with cashew spread and smoky caramelized onions, cold peanut noodles, mushroom birria tacos, gemelli with pesto alla trapanese, a roasted broccoli sandwich with pesto and burrata, artichokes dressed in an herby sauce, potato pel’meni, braised cabbage with black garlic foam, chittara in a silky butternut squash sauce, and — wait for it — eggplant alla parmigiana with parmesan ice cream (it worked, ok!!!). Here are some of my favorite restaurants from the year, should you find yourself in any of these places:
London: Bright, Mao Chow, Bar Crispin, Lucky & Joy, Sager and Wilde, Jolene Bakery
Midwest US: Sooki and Mimi (Minneapolis), Hai Hai (Minneapolis), Bixi Beer (Chicago), Mint Mark (Madison), Naples 15 (Madison), Paul’s Pel’meni (Madison)
Spain: Benzina (Barcelona), Parking Pita (Barcelona), Bar Alfalfa (Seville), Torres y García (Seville)
I do think it’s important to say, especially as someone who worked in a restaurant for a few months this summer, that the re-opening of the hospitality industry has not always been a good thing this year. Most workers are still very much underpaid despite risking their health and dealing with some truly unpleasant people, so please continue to be generous with your tips and considerate if service is slow.
I had been a free follower of Astro Poets since they launched their Substack earlier this year but became increasingly tempted to bite the bullet and pay to read their subscriber-only content. I finally caved when they posted the Sagittarius and Aquarius love match analysis (mine and Ben’s signs) and subsequently binged dozens of their posts. Another new favorite newsletter is Bre Graham’s Just To Delight, which pops up in my inbox every Sunday with a recipe, a read, and recipe suggestions for the week. She has a great eye for food and design.
This poem by Barbara Kingsolver.
Anthony Bourdain has kept popping up in my 2021 even three years after his passing. I picked up World Travel: An Irreverent Guide by him and Laurie Woolever, watched (and publicly cried at) Roadrunner on a flight from the UK, and reread Kitchen Confidential. Even though he’s gone, his incredible body of work lives on and gives me hope and comfort in these strange times.
What a privilege it is to already be fully vaccinated AND booster-ed. I am both happy to feel more secure and make my community safer and guilty that I have had three vaccines before millions of people have had one.
I might have chosen this due to recency bias, but Ted Lasso has been such a boon as the days have darkened and grown colder. Like I said in a previous installment of Things We Don’t Hate, the show may be overly sentimental for some, but I love the combination of dry British humor and pessimism with American goofiness and pep. What I love the most, though, is hot people with British accents.
These independent magazines (except for the Financial Times lol) about food, culture, and travel that I have accumulated over the year!
My two weeks in Spain marked my big re-entry into the world of travel, and I am so fortunate to have had the time that I did there. As I mentioned in the newsletter, my friend Lucy and I explored the Gothic Quarter and rode bikes along the beach in Barcelona. Highlights included a wonderful, dimly lit dinner at Benzina, chaotically rowing a boat in Ciutadella Park, and sipping wine on the roof of a posh hotel, watching the world go by. From there, I met up with Ben and we spent a lovely few days in Seville. If you find yourself there, we loved Bar Alfalfa for tapas and a lively atmosphere and El Garlochi for a memorable drink in a quirky bar plastered with Catholic iconography.
Though I am a follower of the Glossier school of makeup (lightweight, natural, blah blah blah), I have been growing out their products and finding that a lot of their shades don’t suit my undertones. This year, I have been obsessed with multi-use makeup products, particularly ones from Ilia. Their multi-sticks are gorgeous and have just enough pigment to give your lips and cheeks a dewy, flushed look.
Some pretty spots in London that made me feel alive and reborn in the spring after so much isolation: Kew Gardens and Primrose Hill.
I got a CSA box through work this summer and I never want to go back. It taught me what abundance can look like in a local, sustainable context, and I had a blast trying to cook my way through all the lovingly grown veggies every week.
My sweet baby Gigi, who is my perfect daughter.
Running in the morning to improve your mood and mental health sounds like SUCH a scam, but I deeply regret to inform you all that it really does help. My mom and I have been trying our best to get out a few mornings every week, and even though I hatehatehate waking up when the sun is nowhere to be found, I feel so much lighter and more productive throughout the day.
After not having had a professional haircut since the end of 2018 (lol), I finally went to the salon in July and updated my look. Whether they’re curtain bangs or framing layers is up to you, but I am eager to possibly work my way back up to full fringe sometime in the not-too-distant future.
Haley’s List
The girl reading this <3
Visiting northern Minnesota in every season. I was so lucky to start out 2021 in the Duluth area with my boyfriend, Alex, facing January head-on as we snowshoed and hiked through both Tettegouche and Jay Cooke State Park. We made our way even further north in June for a short, slightly dysfunctional trip (our Airbnb flooded lol) in which I showed Alex around the Grand Marais area and he skipped rocks until he was literally sore. Then, I returned once again in late July with my family, renting out the same tiny cabin on the shores of Lake Superior that we’ve stayed in since I was six. I was lucky to return soon after in late August as Alex's wedding date, attending a beautiful wedding at Lutsen Resort on Lake Superior. And finally, Alex and I made our last northern pilgrimage of 2021 to camp out and take in the fall colors atop Oberg Mountain. It was so special to spend so much time in my favorite place this year—to revisit old memories with my family and make new memories with the person I love.
Plant-rearing. I am currently plant mom to a heartleaf philodendron, Devil's Ivy (aka a golden pothos), two snake plants (one sansevieria zeylanica and one sansevieria trifasciata 'Laurentii'), a raven ZZ plant, a 'Pink Angel' nerve plant, a Norfolk Island pine, a yellow moon cactus, a mimicry succulent, a pickle plant, two echeveria-type succulents and a sedum adolphii 'Firestorm' succulent. Living décor is the best décor—it feels so rewarding to watch my surroundings grow up with me through my care. These guys have kept me company throughout my first year of living alone, and it's nice to note that my success rate is pretty good: I've only killed one plant thus far :') RIP, pink aglaonema.
Camping. 2021 also featured my first true camping excursions. While I have written at length about how much I felt like I was going to be murdered while camping with Alex in Badlands National Park, I have grown to really enjoy tent-based travels. Alex and I went on to camp near Oberg Mountain in September and then for much of our trip to Utah in early October (more on that below!). We've been caught in a windstorm, rained on, snowed on, and we’ve slept through the lowest of temperatures—I've become very much one with the elements. While I don’t yet think I’m hardy enough for long-term camping, I've enjoyed roughing it thus far. Living closer to nature and experiencing a truer sense of quiet has been well worth it each time I've had the opportunity to literally ground myself through camping. And on a practical front, campgrounds are much more economical than hotels or Airbnbs! ;^)
Facetime sessions. One of the things I'm most proud of in life is the fact that I’ve maintained four deep and mutually-beneficial friendships since childhood. It feels crazy to write it out, but I am going on 20 years of friendship with the wonderful women I've been lucky to love since elementary school. We're all pretty scattered and busy these days, but we've consistently made time for long Facetime sessions that have allowed us to stay connected and sustain a sense of closeness despite the distances between us this year. I never cease to be amazed by the ways in which this group comes together to celebrate, support, and uplift one another—and sometimes just to blow off steam. They’re everything to me, so these Facetime sessions have become everything to me as well. <3
Pictures of rats in love. Best appreciated when sent to a crush or significant other with the caption “us.”
Eating and drinking my way through Minneapolis. Living in a major metropolitan area and having a full-time job has allowed me to indulge in dining and drinking out more often than I ever have in my life. I love eating out because 1) I'm not very interested in cooking and 2) I seldom do it alone. Each shared meal or drinking date is an opportunity to connect with coworkers, friends, a partner, or family members—a chance to just be present and enjoy what you're consuming as well as the company of whoever you're with. Here are some of my Minneapolitan favorites:
Eating: Tenant, Young Joni, Victor’s 1959 Café, PinKU Japanese Street Food, Sushi Train, Hai Hai, and Rainbow Chinese. Highlighting Tenant here—a tiny restaurant centered around an open kitchen that serves a seasonal prix fixe meal. Alex and I enjoyed six indescribably fantastic small plate courses here on our anniversary and it was, bar none, the best food I’ve had in a long time. The staff is so kind as well. I couldn’t recommend dining here more—definitely take a chance and put yourself on the waitlist because that’s what we did to get in! :^)
Drinking: Sociable Cider Werks, Number 12 Cider, Axebridge Wine Co., Norseman Distillery, Tattersall Distilling, Nightingale, and Volstead’s Emporium. Highlighting Tattersall Distilling here—I recently visited this micro-distillery and cocktail room with Anna to celebrate her birthday, and I am not kidding you when I say that every drink we had here slapped. My favorite was the Bone Crusher: toasted coconut-infused aquavit, matcha tea, pineapple, and lime. Dangerously good stuff. Great atmosphere and service as well. Another definite recommendation!
I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson. Complete kudos to Anna for recommending this to me. I watched all of ITYSL while in quarantine under suspicion of having COVID in early 2020, and it blew my stupidly sick mind in the best way. I then showed it to my boyfriend in January of 2021, laughing almost incessantly as he took in each bizarre sketch with me and loved them just the same. I went on to rewatch season 1 multiple times with both Alex and Anna separately, the jokes from the show easily worming their way into our conversations and always eliciting a laugh. Alex and I marathoned season 2 as soon as it came out, and the follow-up did not disappoint. I truly believe Tim Robinson's show best exemplifies where comedy is headed, embracing and embodying the senselessness and absurdity that has defined the lives—and, by extension, sense of humor—of younger generations for years now.
Utah was THE trip of 2021 for me. Alex and I were both huge fans of Utah and all it has to offer even before we met, so we jumped at the chance to plan an all-encompassing road trip there and back. We drove all the way west, camping en route until we settled at Zion National Park’s Watchman Campground. We then hiked the Narrows (one of the best experiences of my life—every moment was a payoff!), Observation Point and the East Mesa Trail, and many of the smaller trails in Zion Canyon (like the Emerald Pools) over the course of three days. We then packed up and drove out to the Bonneville Salt Flats, one of our favorite places—it was happily unflooded this year! We closed out our trip with a necessary stop at Bryce Canyon (we hiked through snowcapped hoodoos on the Queen's Garden trail and Navajo Loop) and a first-ever visit to Canyonlands National Park for the both of us (Island in the Sky offered such fantastic vistas). Beyond all the quality time I was able to share with Alex, it was an amazing opportunity to visit Julia, my one of my oldest and kindest friends who was undertaking occupational therapy fieldwork in Salt Lake City at the time. All in all, this trip was everything I had hoped for. I truly stand by the fact that traveling to Utah gives you so much bang for your buck when it comes to experiencing unique landscapes and worthwhile national and state parks. Go see for yourself! And forgive all the detailed parentheticals!
Anime. So, this point of inclusion kind of outs my boyfriend as a weeb. But I am not one to talk—most of my favorite artists, authors, and filmmakers are Japanese. Not to mention the fact that I was literally on my way to teaching English in Japan pre-COVID. Anyway, dating Alex has reintroduced me to all that anime has to offer after I tapered off in terms of viewership upon entering college. I'm lucky that Alex has great taste, and he's introduced me to so many wonderful and affecting shows. I've already written about Neon Genesis Evangelion, but I’m happy to report that watching Satoshi Kon’s Paranoia Agent was a similarly transformative—and disturbing—experience. The series so uniquely illustrates individual and societal anxiety through equal parts grounded specificity and mind-boggling abstraction. It's a great example of the potential the medium has to encapsulate and express very difficult, very adult themes through the most creative of means. I also loved FLCL, which is just as rich and surreal but thematically brighter. The soundtrack by The Pillows is fantastic, the concept is insane yet insanely fun, and the full package is a beautifully strange distillation of what it is to come of age. We never finished watching Hideaki Anno's hilariously cute Kare Kano, but I have a soft spot for it: Alex showed it to me because the relationship dynamics between the female lead and her male love interest reminded him of us (specifically their banter and way they stir one another up to comedic effect). We're currently watching Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, which is so refreshing in its portrayal of three passionate, ambitious, and not sexualized (hard to come by in anime, lol… sad but true) high school girls who form an anime film production club and dream big as a unit. Highly recommend.
The Trylon Cinema. One of my favorite developments of 2021 was becoming a sort-of regular at the Trylon Cinema, a tiny arthouse movie theater run by a nonprofit that shows classic, contemporary, independent, foreign, and sometimes even just laughably bad films through engaging and varied programming. Some fun examples include “Buster and Jackie,” a collection of Buster Keaton and Jackie Chan films that recognize the way Chan built off of Keaton’s stuntwork legacy and forged his own, and “Murder, She Wrote,” a collection of murderous films adapted from novels written by women. I can genuinely say that every film I saw at the Trylon this year was worthwhile—and that I likely would never have seen them anywhere else. This has become a tried and true date spot for Alex and me. My 2021 hit list: Liquid Sky, Project A, Wings of Desire, Hausu, and Double Indemnity. Hopefully more to come!
Sushi and soup. An upgrade from last year's McDonald’s cravings. All I want to eat this year is either sushi or soup. One option is much more expensive than the other, but luckily both are relatively healthier than my dark McDonald’s days of the past. Also, gorgeous gorgeous girls love soup.
Anti-doomscrolling activities. It’s no secret that I’ve spent the past year alternately giving in to and resisting the pull of endless screen time. As such, I’ve pulled together a little list of my favorite non-doomscrolling pastimes:
Puzzles: I’ve really enjoyed the jigsaw puzzles I’ve purchased from Piecework Puzzles and Seltzer Goods—both woman-led companies that produce aesthetically-pleasing and challenging puzzles. Working on a jigsaw puzzle is one of the best way to wind down alone while listening to a podcast or watching something on TV—and a fun way to give idle hands something to do while catching up with friends (especially if you have a few drinks in you!). I am also still very into sudoku puzzles and highly recommend stocking up on cheap Penny Dell newsprint books whenever you have the opportunity. They’re a great way to work your brain while not overworking it.
Video games: I believe that video games are a forgivable pastime despite being screen-based because they are legitimately art and can make you feel things or help you relax. I’ve liked both watching and playing video games throughout 2021. My favorite games to watch are the ones I’d be too nervous to play myself—like the Resident Evil series or Bloodborne. When I’m in the driver’s seat, I’ve made it clear that I gravitate toward cozier games like The Sims, Stardew Valley, and Animal Crossing, though Skyrim is happily weaseling its way back into my life as of late.
Reading: This year, I loved The Diving Pool by Yoko Ogawa, Gingerbread by Helen Oyeyemi, Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado, The Strange Library by Haruki Murakami, Farewell, My Lovely by Raymond Chandler, Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner, Strike Sparks by Sharon Olds, Crush by Richard Siken, Self-Portrait with Cephalopod by Kathryn Smith, Unabashed Catalog of Gratitude by Ross Gay, and Ariel by Sylvia Plath.
Writing: Not much to report here, but I’m working on it. I so miss the days where I kept a journal thick with my own handwriting and my poetry ideas filled my Notes app and notebooks to the brim. But I’m getting back to them by keeping a small notebook of poem fragments while also sitting down to write whenever the spirit moves me.
Handicrafts: Crocheting and cross-stitching continue to be the most fruitful hobbies when it comes to giving myself and my loved ones personalized gifts. Beyond that, they’ve really helped me to turn my brain off while still making something beautiful, and they’re a great way to multitask while listening to or watching some kind of content. 10/10.
Where I live. I feel so fortunate to have lived in Minneapolis this past year—to have found such a gem of an apartment in South Uptown. I’ve so enjoyed my proximity to the stellar lakes and parks this area has to offer—running through historic neighborhoods, reading in a hammock under the shade of the trees, circling the lakes on foot with my loved ones, drinking wine out of mason jars in the Peace Garden, and laying out under the sun by Cedar Lake. I’m sorely missing these things as winter and ~darkness~ restrict my ability to be outside, but I’m happy to report that my apartment suits me well these days and really feels like home. Even when an unknown person keeps parking in the alley outside my place and periodically honking their car horn for hours on end at the most inconvenient of times (I’m talking midnight through 2 pm the next day and, most recently, 5 am onward). And if you’re reading this, Mom and Dad, I hope you know that being close to home is one of the main things I love about living here. There’s nothing better than dropping in for a home-cooked meal or a lazy afternoon spent in your company. Ultimately, I’m rounding out 2021 feeling happy to be where I am, and I can’t ask for much more than that.
Our gift to you!
Rather than just select a few songs or albums from the year in our own individual lists, we made a collaborative Spotify playlist of all the music that kept us company in 2021. As people whose love languages involve thoughtfully-made playlists, we really hope you enjoy it and take it as a token of appreciation for sticking with us through the highs and lows of this year. We’ll see you all in 2022!
With love,
Anna and Haley
i love this and you both so much thank you for such a wonderful and insightful year of newsletters!!