28: Is retail therapy actually therapeutic?
Our turn to online shopping for comfort and control in COVID times
Full disclosure: I have six separate packages being sent my way at this exact moment in time. The items making their way to me span quite a range: a painting of a sad little cat in clown garb, 3D-printed biodegradable plant pots, asymmetric jeans I saw on TikTok, Swedish clogs, unscented bubble candles, and a vase shaped like a strawberry. Were any of these purchases necessary? No. Does the fact that I have six separate purchases of this nature nature en route to me right now say a lot about my current mindset and spending habits? Yes. Am I certain all six purchases will bring me immense and lasting joy? Also yes.
While you may rightfully look upon my revelations in the previous paragraph with some level of judgment, I think it would be difficult to claim that you haven’t given in to the pull of retail therapy yourself over the course of the past year. The evidence of our collective turn to online shopping for comfort floods our timelines, from posts about living another day just to receive another long-awaited package in the mail to the TikTok trend of justifying odd pandemic era purchases with an audio clip of President Joe Biden whispering,
“Guess what? It grows the economy. Benefits everybody. Hurts nobody.”
According to an ESET Global FinTech study, 70% of Americans are shopping online more than before the pandemic, with 36% online shopping “much more often” than ever before and 44% expecting to do even more online shopping post-pandemic. Indeed, e-commerce retail sales have been forecasted by eMarketer and Citi to surpass $1 trillion by 2023, up from the staggering $800 billion mark reached in 2020. As such, it’s clear that our reliance on online shopping has been greatly intensified by the uncertainty of the times we live in.
This increase in engagement with e-commerce was born out of social distancing measures and a good deal of fear. Crowded stores became a risk in COVID times, and many turned to online shopping out of concern for their own safety and that of others. With lockdowns and working from home becoming a new reality, people expected to spend more time at home and purchased goods that would allow them to live more comfortably as a result. But even as the in-person shopping experience has shifted to a more stable new normal and less people are working from home, it seems that more and more of us are continuing to fill up digital carts with goods instead. This points to the fact that so many of us are still so unsettled by the times we’re living in. Despite inching toward a semblance of normalcy marked by vaccinations and a return to public spaces, we’re all rattled by what we’ve lived through and we’re still seeking the means to feel in control of our lives. It just so happens that online shopping provides us with an opportunity to do just that. Retail therapy is just a few taps or clicks away.
Retail therapy is one of the main ways we’ve restored our sense of control or normalcy in the midst of the pandemic. Online shopping can provide consumers with an emotional boost, serving as a coping mechanism of sorts. In the words of Dr. Bruce D. Sanders, consumer psychologist,
“People of the world, especially Americans, are accustomed to being in control. It’s something we pride ourselves on as being masters and mistresses of our own destiny, and all of a sudden that was ripped from us. With the plethora of options available in online shopping, and with the ability to compare price points and find the best deal, that offered the sense that we have control again.”
You can literally give yourself something to look forward to in the form of a package in the mail, temporarily alleviating the anxiety that underscores each day and replacing it with familiar anticipation and excitement. In light of the state of things, getting exactly what you want can feel like a personal achievement. It’s a small, certain gift you can give yourself in a world that is becoming less and less forgiving.
And to plainly answer my initial question, retail therapy has actually been shown to be therapeutic. A 2014 study from the University of Michigan revealed that purchasing things you enjoy can be up to 40 times more effective at providing a sense of renewed control than choosing not to make a purchase. Beyond this, participants who purchased items felt three times less sad than their counterparts who chose to browse instead. In a 2013 study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, retail therapy was shown to be an effective way to decrease lingering sadness associated with the sense that situational forces control our life outcomes—not us. Further, a 2011 study found that unplanned shopping helped to relieve bad moods and that this improvement in mood lasted long beyond the purchase itself (unlike compulsive shopping, where pleasure doesn’t last past the moment of purchase). Finally, according to Psychology Today, retail therapy can help us to ease transitions, visualize positive outcomes, derive pleasure from creative expression and aesthetic appreciation, and refresh the mind with a sense of relaxation and escape, ultimately boosting performance and reducing anxiety in the face of difficult tasks. In short, the digestible choices and predictably positive outcomes fundamental to the act of shopping can help us to restore our sense of autonomy and wellbeing—something we might very well need help with after living through a pandemic.
As someone who has spent my last few TWHI installments discussing how unexpectedly stressful and difficult it has been for me to adjust to living alone and working from home during these uncertain times, I can attest to the fact that engaging in a little retail therapy every now and again has had a positive impact on me mentally. “Nesting” has given me plenty of reasons (see: excuses) to order things that make me feel more at home in my own space. I’m slowly regaining the control over my living space I’ve long felt I lacked by scouting for things that feel like ~me~ online and inviting them to live with me here. It’s like I’m proving to myself that I belong in this space—that I can handle being an apartment owner… and an adult! Each delivery offers the promise of feeling one with my space and at home with myself. And that’s a nice feeling in the face of so much chaos.
But here’s the thing about retail therapy. It’s not therapy. It can become just as chaotic and all-consuming as the outside world we try so hard to forget by filling up and emptying our digital carts again and again. If we are all consistently using shopping to cope with our distress, it can become more of a compulsion than a therapeutic indulgence. Compulsive online shopping can put us in more distress than we started with by introducing financial trouble via spending beyond our means. It can distract us, taking time away from our responsibilities, interests and activities, and even the people we care about. And most worryingly, it can prevent us from seeking help that would offer more significant, enduring effects. Succinctly put by Healthline,
“Key in determining whether your shopping is more compulsive or therapeutic lies in how you feel afterward and whether you can control the purchases you make. Retail therapy typically involves desired purchases. It also restores a sense of control, rather than making you feel like you can’t control your spending.”
If you, like me, (be honest with yourself!) have noticed that you’re consistently browsing digital storefronts for far too long when feeling anxious, it’s a good idea to interrogate the nature of your current relationship with online shopping. While I didn’t feel fully out of control or put myself into dire financial straits these past few months I was indulging more fully in retail therapy, I did notice a few things that worried me. I noticed that my short breaks spent browsing for home goods throughout the workday were growing longer and more frequent. I noticed that I would sometimes spend hours of my precious evenings after work just staring at handmade terrazzo trays on Etsy. I noticed that I was checking the stocking status of the green IKEA KOLBJÖRN indoor/outdoor shelf unit far too often and that it was a little intense that I finished work early and drove through heavy rain just to try to buy the last one and that my level of sadness in finding that it was sold out by the time I arrived was possibly of cause for concern.
In short, I started making myself feel as though I’d only be contented and calm once my apartment was fully furnished and decorated, which would be impossible to do with a reasonable amount of money within a reasonable amount of time. I got a little too hung up on the idea that buying nice things for myself—or even just window-shopping to visualize the lifestyle I could eventually provide for myself—would settle the parts of me that felt so unsettled. I was actually unsettling myself more, distracting myself from the things that would truly make me feel mentally and physically well. Something had to give.
Maybe you’ve gone through or are going through something similar to a lesser or greater degree. If so, here’s what I did to recalibrate my relationship with online shopping (because I do need to keep furnishing and decorating my apartment AND I do believe in the therapeutic effects of retail therapy). I hope these tips are helpful if you’re also in need of a check-in with your spending habits.
I budgeted. I made a promise to myself that my last four substantial purchases would be a functional vacuum, a full-length floor mirror, a plant stand, and my long sought-after green IKEA KOLBJÖRN indoor/outdoor shelf unit. I made a plan that I would check in with myself and see if I needed to invest in anything further down the road, but I also committed to living through the summer before considering any more large-scale purchases.
I window-shopped first. I favorited items, made wishlists, compared prices, and read reviews. I even went as far as filling out carts despite not ultimately ordering things, which I later learned has therapeutic benefits similar to retail therapy according to Healthline.
I took my time. After window-shopping, I took days to think about what I thought I wanted and ensured it wasn’t just a bad mood influencing my decisions. This, in addition to filling out the cart (it hurts to take in shipping costs and tax!), really helped me to cut out unnecessary purchases.
I shopped for what I actually needed. If you’re about to refer to the first paragraph of this article and question why I need any of those six items, I would like to make the case that things that spark a little joy in your heart can be things you need. Beyond practically useful items, I tried to appraise the less “necessary” things I wanted in terms of uniqueness, durability, craftsmanship, and cost-effectiveness. All of the above items passed the test, even though some selections are more practical (the clogs will serve as my work-appropriate shoes should I return to the office) and some less so (the strawberry vase is cool and fun!!!).
I made an effort to shop small. All of the aforementioned six items are either from small creators on Etsy or smaller online boutiques/stores. I want to ensure that I’m not just making myself happy but that I’m supporting small businesses and hopefully more sustainable means of production as well. Plus, you get the benefit of direct or indirect contact with the person who makes what you’re buying when shopping especially small. Etsy vendors are incredibly kind and provide wonderful customer service, sending handwritten cards with their creations and following up online to personalize orders, ensuring you get exactly what you want. Each exchange is feel-good and guilt-free, and that’s special.
I planned to reprioritize shopping secondhand. Now that I’m vaccinated, I want to return to more sustainable shopping by buying secondhand items from thrift or resale stores. Thrifting can hold just as many surprises and just as much promise as packages sent in the mail, and it’s much more cost-effective and better for the earth. A win for me and a win for the world.
It’s important to reemphasize that retail therapy is a legitimate, easily-accessible way to temporarily alleviate anxiety, release dopamine, and increase sensations of motivation and happiness during these especially strange and sad times. Don’t deny yourself such small pleasures. But indulge in moderation. Too much of a good thing can quickly turn bad. If you feel a need or compulsion to shop, regularly spend more money than you want to, feel anxious or ashamed after shopping, neglect your responsibilities to shop, or struggle to cope without shopping, it’s a good idea to realign your current relationship with retail therapy—or even to seek help. Again, it’s important to note that the benefits of retail therapy are temporary and should not replace other modes of checking in with yourself or seeking mental health support.
In full, retail therapy is not therapy. But it can help you to restore that sense of comfort and control we’re all craving in these uncertain times—at least for a little while. Guess what? It grows the economy. Benefits everybody. Hurts nobody… as long as you’re conscious and careful. I wish you many thoughtful yet seemingly unnecessary pandemic era purchases that bring joy for years to come. Happy (and healthy!) hunting!
Terrazzo! I think terrazzo is SO fun and lovely. If I had the opportunity to make everything I owned look like a vanilla Funfetti cake, I would risk it all to make that happen. Buying rainbow terrazzo pieces is one of the few ways I can come close to making that dream a reality. There are so many cool and kind people making and selling terrazzo homeware on Etsy for a fair price—opt for these instead of cheesy-looking reproductions!
Neon Genesis Evangelion. Thanks to my boyfriend, I finally understand why this series occupies such hallowed ground in the anime canon. I had wanted to watch NGE ever since being flooded with screencap after screencap during my Tumblr-oriented youth, but the fact that it dealt with some heavier topics kept me away all these years. I’m really glad I had someone to navigate the show with as it completely defies your expectations in every way possible and becomes such a huge nearly-incomprehensible, deeply-philosophical, moving and almost abstract thing of beauty. I don’t think this series is for everyone, but it should be!!! Art. Genuinely. Big thanks to Alex for sharing this with me! ♡(◕ᴗ◕✿)
Together Together. I loved this film so much. It features Ed Helms as a single middle-aged man who decides he wants to have a baby via surrogate and Patti Harrison in a surprisingly grounded and normal turn (I had only known her for her… unique roles in Shrill and I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson) as his surrogate. It’s incredibly cozy and pure-hearted while still providing subtly incisive, bittersweet commentary about the difficulty of finding your way through life alone as an adult—and especially about the strength it takes to bear a child that is not your own. Helms and Harrison have realistic, natural chemistry, and it was so refreshing to see a movie about genuine male-female platonic love. Highest praise possible: this film fully embodied one of my favorite Hayao Miyazaki quotes.
“I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live—if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.”